The Worst Nightmare in Years

Two nights ago, in the early morning of August 6th, I had the worst nightmare I've ever had as an adult.  It frightened me so much that it shook me from my sleep around 4:15am and it took me about 45 minutes to calm down and convince myself that it had no connection to reality at all.

The nightmare began when I was Skyping Jenevieve and Autumn.  They were in Maryland and it was Christmastime as they were showing me the new decorations in the Nelsons' house.  I felt a little strange because time had passed so quickly, then I noticed that Autumn was about a year older.  After Jenevieve dropped enough hints that it was December 2012, I started to freak out.

I remember yelling, "Why is it Christmastime?  What year is this?  How much time has passed?"

Jenevieve obviously didn't like being yelled at, and she gave me a look as if she's gone over this many times before with me.  I was beginning to get a sense that I was crazy, and she began to talk to me in that way.  I can't remember what she said, but I was demanding to find out what was wrong with me.  However, I do remember her saying, "If I tell you, you're just going to forget again tomorrow and yell at me again."  And this is why we were separated.  This feeling of separation made me feel even worse: I am losing my mind, I am losing my family, and I have no idea what is going on.

After telling her the last memory I had was being in Japan, she finally told me that's when I started showing symptoms of a late onset of adult autism, which in reality doesn't make any sense.  But because I was already told that I was crazy, I knew I couldn't rely on my logic anymore.  So I took her word for it.  Jenevieve then gave me a look like she was done talking with me and wanted to get off Skype.

Our conversation ended, and I was left alone to deal with this awful situation.  I began thinking, if I were crazy, then why is nobody taking care of me.  I finally realized that I was not in Japan nor Iowa.  I was in Kenosha, so I guess some relative nearby may be looking after me from a distance.  I began to feel like Taylor at the end of planet of the apes, completely isolated and devastated.

I needed a breath of fresh air, so I ran outside and almost slipped on some ice covered by a thin blanket of snow.  I remember seeing my breath.  (This is how lucid and very convincing the dream was.)  Looking up in the night sky for solace, I spotted a square shaped UFO flying through the sky.  That's when I believed I was crazy, and then I shuttered to wake up.

Now awake, I felt glad that I was back in August 2011, but I was still under the strong effects of the dream.  Was the dream my first symptom of this alleged autism?  Now that I am sane, I dismissed that diagnosis.  Still not thinking clearly because it was 4:15am, I remember having nightmares as a young child and making connections to reality.  Perhaps the same was true now, I thought.  Perhaps instead of mentally losing Jenevieve and Autumn, I have lost them in another way.  I panicked realizing that something awful may have occurred on their trip to my mother's house.

I went online to check any news.  I discovered that Masumi finally responded to my plans for later that day, but nothing about my family.  I tried calling my mom's house, but Google finally caught on to the fact that I was making free calls to the United States.  During this instant, my mind was becoming more logical and was starting to convince me not to make the call.  The last fight I had left was logic versus the responsibility of a concerned father and husband, but logic finally one thanks to Google telling me I had to register my account in the United States.

I went back to bed and began being comforted that the whole thing was in my head and that the probability of Jenevieve and Autumn being safe was much greater than not.  I was only a little freaked out that I brought some of the crazy from the dream into reality for about 5 minutes.  That delay scared me but not enough to keep me awake any longer.